Brown Spotting

Sigh. Yes again. Woke up at 2:00 a.m. for normal run to the potty and guess what I had when I whipped. Brown spotting. It was a strange type. Almost like glueish looking. Couldn't go back to sleep for at least a hour. Worry does that too you. No cramping. I have no idea why it came back. Haven't had sex since the last spotting or done anything out of the ordinary. I am really happy I have an appointment today. It's at 2:00 p.m. (funny how that is exactly 12 hour away from when it started.) Hopefully all is well with the baby. I am probably going to just be the unfortunate types that has strange spotting episodes throughout their pregnancy.

Nonetheless, it's time to pull out my mantra's and just remember to be as positive as possible.

* "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."
* "I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise."
* "My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c."--"Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!
* "Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot ‘jinx’ your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!
* And this is the hardest one: "There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."

11 Weeks

So tomorrow we have a u/s to check on the baby. If it is a boy then sometimes they can tell by now. However, they don't tell you for sure until week 18-20. There was a post yesterday that girl was told what she was having at 10 wk 4 days. (since it was a boy)

It's strange, I am feeling hungry, but the thought of actually eating disgusts me. Mainly because I am worried how I feel after eating. Yesterday Sandro took me to Blue Mesa. I had never been before but I heard it's not traditional Tex Mex. (which what I was craving) The best way I can describe it is New Age Mexican based cuisine. I tried to order the closest think on the menu to Tex Mex possible. I got a chicken taco and a cheese enchilada. The chicken taco was good. I should have just gotten two of those. The enchilada had nice cheese but the flavor of the sauce was just a little too different for me. On the side of this the rice to me had a lavender flavor ... first it tastes like Mexican and then you have this strange lavender aftertaste. It was good but not something I wanted to eat a lot of. It also came with this corn mesa stuff. That was good. But it was a really small portion. Of course it gave me indigestion but it was fast. Too bad I still want a burrito.

So here is what is happening in Week 11.

By pregnancy 11 weeks your baby's fingers and toes have lost their amphibious like resemblance, now separated instead of webbed. Your little one is taking advantage of the huge space she is floating in by pregnancy 11 weeks, by kicking and squirming about. In the next three weeks your baby will go through a tremendous growth spurt, almost doubling in size. At no other time in your baby's life will she undergo as many rapid changes as are occurring during this stage of your pregnancy.

Weekly Update

How far along? 10 wks 6 days
Total weight gain/loss: When I last went to the doctor I had gained 6 pounds.
Maternity clothes? Same as last week. The jeans I live in when I can. But the other pants are bit annoying and just make me feel fat.
Stretch marks? Not any new ones yet.
Sleep: My dreams are vivid like crazy. Always a different dream every night. Last night it was about the ocean and waves and some sort of presentation.
Best moment this week: The spotting completely stopped
Movement: Nada
Food cravings: Food has been hard since I am craving the most awful things. The heartburn is terrible so I can't indulge. Last night I kept thinking about Taco Bell's Seven layer burrito. I literally haven't had one of those in 8 years. But the combination of the ingredients sound appealing. Oh and I know I won't act on this craving because Sandro is adamantly against fast food of all kinds. Perhaps I can sneak to get one at lunch. To bad it's cold outside.
Gender: At this point just a healthy baby.
Labor Signs: Nope..Many weeks away from this.
What I miss: I miss eating and enjoying it. I feel good for like 5 mins and then instant heartburn erupts.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing the baby this Thursday and checking on the hematoma.
Weekly Wisdom: It's okay to be lazy during pregnancy. Don't overdo yourself.
Milestones: No Spotting. Got over the double digit week mark.

Sprinkle Cupcake

One of my coworkers is the sincerely the nicest person I have ever met. Mom ...if you are reading this...she is the chick that came over for baking lessons for Christmas. Hedy just came in and brought me a lemon cupcake from this placed called Sprinkles. The cupcakes aren't cheap and really it's out of your way to get these cupcakes. Often having to wait in lines. She told me yesterday she was going to get one for Stefan and myself. I have always wanted to try one (my own cupcake) since I only had one bite of Stefan's once. I wasn't impressed then but it was one bite and I didn't get to actually enjoy it. Lets just say it's a awesome way to start off my Friday. I think the baby will enjoy it.

Also..no spotting so far today. I had such a little amount yesterday I don't think I should even count it. :) I hope this is a good sign.

Update: So the cupcake was delicious but it gave me the worse indigestion of my life. So I tried to counteract this belly ache buy getting sushi. Well It worked for like 5 mins and now my stomach was in complete turmoil. I think this is a new symptom for me...or a old one resurfacing. Everything I eat I get a belly ache now. Sigh. I feel like crawling into a hole right now and not coming out.

10 Weeks w/picture

So I debated about posting this picture because I really not liking my body right now. I am scared of the possible reactions. For one I am wearing a cami under this shirt to help the girls since they are so massive. Two you can see my pooch. The thing I don't get is why some people say that if you are larger you don't see much growth in the first fews months. But I am not sure if that really applies to me. I was at a semi healthy weight for my height. Just under 200 pounds. I can tell you that my boobs grew at least 2 sizes. Before I was a 38D and now I am getting near a 40DD. The outfit I am wearing are regular clothes. The black pants are still lose on me. The only difference is my stomach doesn't want to stay back when I suck in. For those who remember I was avid about working out. In the last year alone I lost close to 40 ish pounds. I was going great with my eating plan and my exercise plan. I know before getting pregnant that I would gain weight. But in this picture I just look like I let myself go again. When I weighed at the doctor I was about 208 ish. I think that at least half of that is bloat and the other half is the weight gain in my breasts.

So today marks 10 weeks. The spotting is very minimal yesterday and today. So minimal if you weren't paying any attention you would even notice. It's a small amount of brown. Maybe this could be the end to all the blood clot drama. Other symptoms I have right now is that I have noticeable indigestion. I have never been the belching type. But now it's completely expected after I eat. On top of that tummy just grumbles all the time. Sometimes in the morning I am nauseous. I have a ton of snacks at my desk to help me between meals. It looks like snack central. When I start to feel light headed or a rumble I grab a small snack.

At 10 weeks the embryo becomes a fetus. Here is what happening with baby this week.

By the end of pregnancy week 10 your baby's organ systems are growing quickly. Now internal organs are starting to form and the vital organs including the liver, kidney, intestines and brain will start functioning. In the next three weeks alone your baby's length will grow exponentially. Tiny details will start appearing on your baby's body, including items such as toenails. If you were to look really closely you might even notice some peach fuzz growing on your baby's skin! By now your baby will be consumed with swallowing and kicking. That's right, your baby will swallow amniotic fluid during your pregnancy. Consider it a practice run for breathing once she is born!

Weekly Update

How far along? 9 wks 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: My pants are having trouble staying up. DH asked me why I wasn't wearing a belt. Still bloated in the belly and no where else.
Maternity clothes? Same as last week. The jeans I live in when I can. But the other pants are bit annoying and just make me feel fat.
Stretch marks? Not any new ones yet.
Sleep: About the same as last week. Though I seem to have added about a restroom break every 2-4 hours.
Best moment this week: Seeing the heartbeat again.
Movement: last night I could have sworn I felt some flutters but I know it's too early
Food cravings: Potato Salad as been on my mind big time. I made some and eat a ton of it whoops.
Gender: At this point just a healthy baby.
Labor Signs: Nope..Many weeks away from this.
What I miss: I would say exercise. I am getting sick of the relaxing and resting. However, for my condition it's one of those things that have to happen. I miss running and weight lifting.
What I am looking forward to: The bleeding to stop and to find out the sex.
Weekly Wisdom: Tums is okay for heartburn and really helps. Fruit and juice is not good on a empty stomach because it's too acidic.
Milestones: 2nd ultrasound. Seeing and hearing the babies heartbeat via u/s. I am about 3 weeks away from being out of the 1st trimester. I am about to start week 10.

Clarification

I noticed a facebook update after I was talking to my cousin about miscarriage. She wrote "It is not fair to blame God for disease and suffering when it is scientifically proven that it is cause by the innovations of mankind." I am not sure if this was directed towards me or our conversation but I just wanted to clarify my side. What I said is that miscarriage happen not necessary out of environmental factors but more out of nature and God. I didn't really get to elaborate but here we go. I am not a overally religious person. However, I do believe in a higher power. I was raised that everyone was entitled to their own beliefs. I went to several different churches growing up. From Jehovah's Witness to a Baptist church and even a Church of Christ. So I am all for people having their beliefs. But it's my belief that this universe was created by a higher power. Some refer to them as God, as I do as well. I feel that God created mankind and all other species. With any species there are going to be imperfections. From before time there have woman who are barren or who have trouble having children. This was not a fault of God or a mistake on his part. This is just part of how we are being developed. Sure there can be questions that innovations of mankind could have caused the infertility issues that woman have but who created mankind? Sandro feels it's all about the survival of the fittest.

My miscarriage was about natural taking it's course. Early miscarriages have tend to be a sign for most woman of a chromosome mismatch. Or there was a issue with the egg or the sperm. It's your body natural way stopping the birth of a child that could have several issues if brought into the world. To me it's a God fail safe way to prevent heartache and pain of all those involved. Sure the initial shock of a miscarriage is painful and afterward you feel empty but in the reality there is no way to stop or prevent a miscarriage.

I do not feel that environmental factors is what contributed to my miscarriage or the miscarriages of my family members. In all honestly I feel it's insulting for anyone to insinuate that my misfortunes are due to something that I could have prevented. I have seen so many people over the years that live perfectly healthy lives who are barren. I don't feel that mankind did this to them. This is just a unfortunate result of nature.