What I want isn't always what I get

Over the past several weeks I have been attending a Bradley Method Childbirth class. Sandro has been going with me and we are learning a ton. Sandro has really been good about learning his role as my partner and coach for the birthing process. He prepares me food and make sure I am eating a proper diet. He feels that it's his ultimate responsibility to get me through this birth. I appreciate this of course and I am so HAPPY to have a supportive partner. I think what I am finding difficult is setting myself up for failure. I always seem to have an ideal of how I want things to happen. It's the control aspect of my overwhelming personality. It something doesn't go right in my plans I feel this dramatic feeling that I failed. So what I am trying to do is focus all of my attention on being positive and just letting it happen. I want a natural childbirth and I will try my hardest to get through this but I need to focus on making sure I realize that not everything will go as planned..and if it doesn't go as planned then this is okay, and that I and baby girl is going to be just fine. I tried to explain this to Sandro and I think he gets it but then again he tells me that he will do it all. That I will get my ideal birth. But I don't think this is helping. I need to accept the fact that I don't always get what I want and if my ideal doesn't happen we will be okay.

Also, I am having trouble finding names for baby girl. I can't understand why I am having so many difficulties. All I remember growing up was wanting to name my baby Felicia (if it's a girl) and Frisco (if it's a boy)... can you tell that I had a love for General Hospital. But now years later I don't like any name I am hearing and I am just NOT in love with it. Sandro also seems to have a opinion on any name I sorta like. So it makes it even more difficult. I just don't want our daughter to hate us for the name we choose for her. I want it to have meaning and be short and beautiful. I have looked for hours and I just haven't found that name. 25 days to go and you would think I had a few in mind. I just keep reminding myself that my MIL took a month to name Sandro...I can met babygirl first and then decide.

So here is what I have on my to do list. I am hoping I can get most of these things accomplished this weekend. I want to get to point where I can relax and not stress about the small stuff. I finally picked a bouncer for baby girl. It's nothing uber fancy but I love that it has green and lady bugs. :)

To Do List:
Clean Cars
Install and practice with Carseat
Returns of dups from babyshower
Deep Clean House (including renting carpet shampoo machine)
Wash baby stuff
Wall mount the baby monitor
Wall Sign needs to be put up
Clean Out Garage

Items I need for Nursery:
Trash Can/Wastebasket
Hamper
Decorative wall shelfs
Batteries (Rechargeable or regular) Tons of C's and D's
Items on Target Registry (changing pad, changing cover, extra car seat base, bottles and a few misc breastfeeding items)
Purchase Birthing Ball
Need some wall frames for new project I want to do

Ebay items:
Need travel baby monitor .. not urgent