Dear Sadie,
Let me just lay out there for you little girl. A year ago I
thought I was losing you. I have memories from those days in the NICU. It’s
funny how your brain remembers things. Things that are so insignificant now but
details that you can’t let go of. Like the smell of the soap that I used to
sanitize my hands and how I had to scrub my hands very well before I entered
the NICU. I also remember the chair slept in to be next to you and how I begged
your daddy to let me stay the longest possible time next to you. I didn’t want
to leave your side. I just wanted to hold you and be there in case you called
out for me. You slept all day and all night for at least 4 days. So exhausted
from the extensive jaundice and seizure treatment they had you on. I wanted to
hear you cry just so I could know you where thriving and was still there. I
also remember the lemon meringue pie. I was offered the mothers breastfeeding
meal once a day while I stayed there with you. One the nurses highly recommend
this pie. I ordered it every day as it was the only positive thing I had to
look forward to.
I remember the nurses coming in once an hour to check on
you. Even in the middle of the night. Every single one of them was so kind.
They were always much more optimistic than the doctors. Your predication Dr.
Stokes came to visit you every day as well. She hugged me like mama bear when I
told her the updates I was receiving based on the tests. Your Baka and Dado
came and also you’re Nana. Everyone held you and loved on you. The doctors,
while well meaning, would come and tell us that you would have some brain
damage to what extent they did not know. They told us to read to you and often
and to start ECI therapy as soon as possible. It took you a while to want to
eat from the bottle or to breastfeed since you had a feeding tube in your nose.
But once you figured it out you ripped the tube out of your nose. They did not
put it back in.
This last year has had its challenges. Two months after your
stay at the NICU you had hernia. You were steady gaining weight but the hernia surgery
was a must to be sure it did not bust into your gut. This just seemed to add
more time on to your recovery. Then by 4-6
months you did not seem to want to gain weight. You resisted eating and it was
thought that maybe that was related to the damage you had from the jaundice.
They wanted to give you a feeding tube. But it turned out that you had silent
reflux. It’s the kind where you don’t spit up at all. It just burns you from
the inside without any type of indication. We put you on reflux meds and you
started gaining.
Of course all of these issues your development was slowed. We
had to take you out of daycare and your Baka started taking care of you full
time. Feeding you all day long as well as making sure you were eating healthy
protein and fat filled food. You gained about 8 pounds 6 months and starting to
look healthier every day. You are getting physical therapy three times a week
from Miss Nicole. You seemed to warm up to her which we could not be more
thrilled with. She tells us that you have made already improvement of what
would take 3 months in only one month of therapy. You go baby girl!
Your daddy and I talk about your recovery often. We wonder
what roadblocks and issues we will have in the future. We are scared of course
but we also think we have what it takes to give you the best possible care. You
absolutely love water and pool time. You love to hear songs and try to sing
along. You really are trying to interact with us. You can’t sit up yet completely
unassisted but this improving every day. Your personality is one of kind and we
loving your spitfire tantrums. You seem to know exactly what you want and when
you want it. I hope this means you are beating the odds. You are bouncing back
on your own slow schedule. We just need to be patient and let you lead us. You
amaze us baby girl and we love to watch you meet your milestones. Thanks for
completing our family.
With love on your Birthday,
Mama
