Juicy Details or maybe TMI for some

You are probably wondering about why I haven't updated my blog. I think honestly I have been going through some tough stuff. Well we really have been going through a rough patch. Let me just jump right in. In August of 2013 we got pregnant again. Of course we where scared but we where feeling very hopeful. I went into my first appointment at 8 weeks. We had a very strong heartbeat and thought things where progressing well. Two weeks later (close to DD's birthday) I started spotting. I was almost 11 weeks. We where told that the heart stopped beating at 8 week 1 day. It was gut punch like no other. I had already ordered a big sister shirt for Sophia. I was going to announce to the grandparents that weekend since it was her birthday weekend. This was not supposed to happen this way. We decided to do a natural m/c with drugs. It was quick and the recovery was even quicker. Not like the previous time but still gut wrenching. 

I knew in my heart that I wanted to try right away. But Sandro was hesitant. He was scared that it would take me straight into insanity. We argued about it but we also talked and sorted through our feelings. He is a very logical person and he felt that maybe it wasn't our destiny to have a 2nd child. He was perfectly content with just Sophia. I felt differently of course. I felt like there was a missing piece to our family and I wasn't willing to just give up. We come up with a plan. We would try at least twice more however we would have to get tested for genetic issues and clotting disorders. Also, if we did try we would have to be in the mode of lets just see what happens. I could not let TTC rule my entire life. We decided to wait until after the new year. We did go through the testing process and we both came up completely clean for genetic issues. The 3 m/c I had in the past where considered unknown. I also had no clotting issues that they can find but recommended that start a baby aspirin regimen as well as extra folic acid as soon as possible. 

 I was not tempting and I was only tracking when my period was. I did not think we had sex during my ovulation period since we decided mid month to just try but not try again. I only took 1 digital pg test in the first week of Feb (maybe a few OPK's) and low and behold it said I was pregnant. I was really scared and I wanted to cry. How could my body want this so bad yet wouldn't let me have this pg? It was very mixed emotionally and I tried not to get too excited. Since I have had two m/c with my doctor she had me come in early. I had my first appointment at 7 wk 3 days. We saw a heartbeat but the sac was oddly shaped. She told that it's totally fine. That sometimes it just looks weird. The HB was strong. She wanted to see me weekly, every Thursday at the same time. She wanted to put my fears at ease. I do love my new doctor. She is so vibrant and honest and I just think she knows how to deal people. 

So I went weekly. I did have one incident of spotting and of course my mind went to that place. She saw me two days early that week (week 9). I thought for sure it was over. Baby was just fine. No blood was in my uterus. No SCH to be found. It turns out a had a UTI. I never had a UTI before in my life. But apparently it can make you spot. Only when I was dehydrated and usually in the AM after multiple pee breaks. I had to start antibiotics but it was gone after a 10 day treatment. 

So far I have had 5 6 ultrasounds The last one was my NT scan. I got my blood report on 4/21/2014 and it says that I have nearly 1 in 6 billion chance of having a baby with downs. I have better luck winning the lottery. I felt I needed to come out of the closet my growing belly and the office rumors where creeping in. I waited now 10 weeks to tell the world it was time. I still haven't told Sophia but I know that is coming soon. I am sure she will notice my growing belly and start asking her inquisitive questions. Part of me is still scared but I a trying to have hope at this point and I need to let the world know. I hope that this gives up with those who are struggling. Trying to conceive after a/multiple losses is so very difficult. There are no words to the amount of worry and anxiety one goes through. 

No u/s pic for Week 7.

8 weeks

9 weeks  (skipped week 10, no good shots)

11.5 weeks

13.5 weeks