Happy Halloween

So today I feel crampy. However, I have full energy. Not nearly as tried as I have been. So of course I get worried. Last night because I just help like it I took the pg test again. Again it was positive. And extremely bright blue this time. I have officially missed my period...31 days...3 days late. You still don't believe it. All the cramps I have been having feel like I am going to get my period. However, everywhere I have read this is completely normal in the first tri. Also, my good I feel constipated. I usually don't poop a lot...maybe 3 times a week total. However, I have this need and want to poop and it doesn't want to come out. My weight is 197.1 which is strange because that means I have lost 5 pounds since I have last checked. I feel super bloated so I feel 20 pounds heavier. All these weird things with my body. It's hard to explain how I am feeling.

What I learned....

So I think the caffeine headache has finally ended. I have discovered that living without caffeine isn't so hard. The headache only comes back if I have not got enough rest. It usually starts in the afternoon. Another to prevent it is to try a different project for a while or exercise. I am in indulging with the occasional herbal tea. It's not recommenced for pregnancy but it's caffeine free and I am just having a little in moderation.

What I think will miss the most is spicy food. I love spicy food, however even the mild food that I love so much gives me gas and cramps/stomach pain. Then I feel nauseous. Like last night I had my favorite Spinach Ravioli's. I woke up in at 4 with the worse gas pain I had ever felt. I will have to indulge in boring bland stuff for a while. Also, oatmeal in the morning. Yuck! Can not stomach it at all. So I am eating smaller meals like fruit and maybe around 10 I will try a protein bar.

Today I feel...

Better. However, extremely gassy. :( All day I feel like I am hungover and I am on a boat ride. My head is throbbing throughout the day and then I feel grossed out about eating. Not sure what is up with that. I do have a lot of fears though and while it's okay to have fears I hate being such a worrier. I think what is really hard for me to swallow are all these people on the 1st trimester board that have lost their baby. I have read the statistics and there is a 10% chance I could miscarriage. This is the primary reason why I haven't told the family yet. But I am dieing to. I feel so alone while I go through these first few weeks. Sandro is there but he doesn't have any idea what types of things I think about or how to deal with my emotions. Since this baby is somewhat an unexpected miracle I feel like there is a greater chance that something could go wrong. I keep telling myself it meant to be it will be.

The Ticker!

Since I gave up coffee...

I have been miserable. Maybe that was the wrong choice. But I know it's the right one. Sigh.

The unexpected.

Because I want to wait until I am past my 1st Dr. Appointment on December 1st I have created a blog that I plan to write in...even with small notes as patiently wait. To begin, Sandro and I where not technically trying to have a baby yet. We had had decided to wait another year. I have been using the FAM method as protection for over a year. This is basically a charting method. My body responds badly to birth control so FAM worked really nicely for me. I am not going to blame failure of getting pregnant on this method because I don't think it was a failed method. Honestly, I think my body and heart took matters into it's own hands. During the weeks before we found out I was having crazy pregnancies dreams. Also my cervical fluids where insane. I think my body and my heart wanted to have a baby...also I am sure with Sandro's determination that he wanted a child as well. So guess what ... we are pregnant.

At first I suspected something was a miss. I was like a time clock, I always start my period every 28 days...I have temperature shift downward at day 26...and then my period will begin two days later. So Sunday morning I took my temp as normal. High..a degree higher than usually..the same temp as the day before...so I had a old pg test under my sink I POAS. At first nothing was showing up...but I was closely watching...so I decided to lay back down for about 10 minutes...I come back to two pink lines. I was like WTF. Then I had to run to Target and get a few more...I got the name brand (with a coupon) and the generic. Came home and took the EPT at home. Not even two minutes later I get the same result as the previous one with clear distinct blue crossed lines. So of course I don't believe it so I go for a 3 and final time. Again instance results. Two blue lines. I have a picture I will put in here later. It's kinda of funny. I can't muster up the nerve to toss them just yet. They are still sitting there.

So already I am worrywart. I drank both on Thursday and Saturday. Equal to two beers and a shot. But still...I had no idea. Then I had coffee all weekend. Today is decided to give up my morning cup of Joe for a while. At least through first trimester. I feel like I am hungover and really just exhausted. Not sure if this is to the lack of caffeine or just my pregnancies symptoms coming through. I already started my prenatal vitamins and scheduled my initial appointments. I will have a sonogram on December 1st ($250 dollars wow!) and then a Dr. Appointment on December 16th. Both at 3:30. That seems to so far away. But thanksgiving would be my 8th week so they said it's best to wait until after that. Sandro is so excited. I am just praying for a healthy baby and pregnancy. Sandro and I have decided not to tell anybody, even close family, until after the first appointment. That is a long time to keep it a secret. But I would rather not worry about having a miscarriage and having to explain to everyone what happened. So overall...this will be a place they can read about what happened and about nerves going crazy.