2012 Bluebonnets

Big Girl Potty

Lets just say I am super proud of my little princess Sophia. She is less than 2.5 years old and she has just about mastered the whole potty thing. She tells us when she needs to pee and poo-poo and the accidents are very rare. I haven't had to ask her if she needs to pee. Even at night I put her in a diaper she never uses it. She has had a dry diaper for almost 2 weeks straight. Even on the weekends where she sleeps in. So I knew it was time to celebrate. My mother had given me some ladybug themed stuff for her bathroom almost 2 years ago. I been somewhat lazy and I finally decided to put it up.

Sophia was so excited. We went to Target together and found rugs, towels and a toothbrush holder. She was so excited to have a big girl bathroom to call her very own. I even got her a towel holder. We put at her level so she can reach it. I tried to convince her to go with red rugs but she was determined to get hot pink. Lets just say it's the boldest pink ever and she loves it that way. She shows everyone her restroom. Some times she has to take towels everywhere with her. I try to tell her to keep them in the bathroom. She is such a cutie pie.

Weekend in Oklahoma

This past weekend we went to Oklahoma to visit my dad, my stepmother, my Auntie Terri, my cousins Maria and Michael, my Auntie Marilyn, my cousin Ryan, Grandma and Grandpa, and little baby Ethan. While it was a brief visit we really did enjoy seeing everyone. It's very rare for me to get to visit with my cousins since they are all the way on the West Coast. It's the same for my Auntie Terri who is all the way on the East Coast. It is extremely hard to get everyone together at the same time. (not to mention a tad bit stressful)

The trip went with out a hitch. However, of course Miss Sophia got sick the night before. She did that at Thanksgiving as well. At least time it wasn't strep. Just a simple cold with a fever. We went to the minute clinic to get her ears, lungs and throat checked out just in case. The next day Tata took off so that he could keep her out of daycare in case the fever came back. It never did. Then we left Dallas around 1:00 p.m. Sophia surprised us and did well. We stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way up there. Luckily they had Tutu dresses for sale. She was so happy to get a new dress that it pretty much kept her content the entire day.

It was a great visit. Of course Sophia was in the mood to test us as like she had done all week. Only in a entirely different element. She REFUSED nap time on Saturday. We had to basically force her to rest. She was way to over stimulated. She started to have tantrum after tantrum and just would not go down. Finally about 3:00 p.m. she went down. She slept until 5. Just in time for us to go to dinner at my Grandma's house. She actually did great the rest of the night. With the exception of a time out that was necessary for hitting mama after being warned. The the next morning at breakfast she had yet another meltdown at IHop. I am not sure why on this one. I think she did it because she wanted attention or maybe it was the food. Who knows. All I know was that I was worn out by this point.

It was great seeing everyone and I really enjoyed the trip with the exception of the meltdowns. I think anything that gets Sophia off her normal routine puts her in a mood. As soon as we got home she was happy again. I do think the timeouts are increasing over all and she still continues to test us. But it so much easier to discipline at home than it is in public. Maybe it was this aspect that was stressing me out.

Testing Us Daily

Sophia has been testing us lately. A lot. I know this is normal behavior for a 2.5 year old and I am sure it will last the rest of her childhood..and maybe even adulthood. This week she seemed to branch on out to a higher level of testing.

Monday: She got really upset that her dress was not clean and ready to wear. She wore it all weekend and I washed all her other dresses but apparently not the right one. She went into hysterics. This set the pace for the entire day. She just did not comprehend that the dress was dirty and I had to wash it. Really at this point I can't do time out or anything. I need to get her happy and out the door. The tears lasted all the way to school. When Sophia arrived to daycare she was all red faced and flushed from all the crying. My little drama queen.

Tuesday: We go and pick her up like normal. We could see her running around in the little play area to the side. As soon as she gets in the car my MIL was telling me about how bad she was that day. That she disrupted the classroom most of the day and she was "wild" and would not listen. She also told her she would tell us and that TV would be off limits for the night. Sophia is going through a Cinderella stage. As soon as she heard her Baka tell me this she started screaming hysterically. I would repeat that there was no TV tonight. The screaming would begin. It was almost comical but at the same time we where serious. All the way home she asked about watching Cinderella and we would repeat..not going to happen tonight.

As soon as we arrived home she kept asking about Cinderella. We would repeat no. Then the tears start. Holy Moly did the tears start. Major tantrum that required me to put her in a timeout. (which is somewhat rare at the moment) This is the only way for me to get her to calm down. We had to repeat it twice because she kept getting up. But she did do it. Afterwards I scooped her up and we had a long talk. I told her why she was in trouble and that there would be no TV tonight. That we can read some books and play with her toys..But no TV. I did offer her 10 min of TV after bath time. This is when I usually blow dry her hair and it seemed fair. But absolutely no Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast. She finally calmed down. She did ask 100 or so times if she could watch Cinderella and we just kept telling her no. At least the tears had stopped and she realized her mama and tata where serious.

Honestly, I must admit I like this part. It doesn't bother me like it used to when she would cry. I know I can calm her and comfort her but I also know that I can teach her between right and wrong. That is my job. I am sure she will appreciate it one of these days.

Today's collage is a little of Sophia having bath time and some other misc pics. I was trying to point out her pretty hair and her organizational skills.

Yes, I love being a Mama

This first 4 months of being a mom where the hardest times of my entire life. I think the combination of dealing with mild depression and super nigh anxiety made it even worse for me. I remember screaming all the time "I will never do this again!" and feeling like the worse mother in the world because I just didn't feel that connection. All I felt was this burden and thinking to myself why would I even consider bringing a baby into my crazy world. I am going to screw this up. I am going to fail. My daughter is going to hate me for screwing her up. I also thought to myself that I would never want to do this again. Never go through a hard pregnancy, never live with a newborn, never give all of myself to a baby again.

Then one day something clicked. Day by day it became easier. My depression was getting better. My energy was increasing. It could have been the sleep deprivation was wearing off. But I had changed. I had my routine with my baby girl. While sure some days where harder than others but I actually learned to handle having her in my life. Taking care of her every need. Being the one she calls for when she is scared or hurt. I figured out how to be a mama. I LOVE every second of it. Even the tantrums and her moodiness. I am still her Mama. I am still the one she depends on. She makes me laugh everyday. Her personality is so confident. She makes me want to be a good mom to her.

Sandro told me the other day how he has watched me transition into a mother. That he is amazed that I handle her so well. This touched my heart. Had it been that obvious to him that I had changed? Could a person transform so quickly and be so different. I always thought to myself that I was a selfish person. That I sometimes forget about everyone else and just think of my wants. But maybe I am not as selfish as I thought I was.

My heart has been telling me lately that I am ready for another. Sophia is almost officially out of diapers. I am not getting any younger. I think I am ready to do the newborn stage all over again. This time I will know what to expect. This time I will gear up for those really challenging days and maybe, just maybe I will really enjoy it.

Some Styles from Miss Sophia

VDay Weekend & Carter's Birthday

Due to our crazy busy weekday schedules we wanted to celebrate the prior weekend. However, Sandro called it more a date night than a Vday Weekend celebration. He isn't really a fan of Valentine's day. Nor any other commercial holiday but he knows that I am into it and still goes along with whatever I want to do. I heard that my favorite band was coming to town. The Green. I was so excited. I heard this band for the first time when we went to HI. I now listen to their CD at least once a day. Me = Addicted It's a semi Reggae Music with a little bit of a island feel. So I got all gussied up. We dropped Sophia at my in-laws. She was spending the night because it was a late concert. We had some yummy Sushi rolls at Chaucer's. Seriously hands down out favorite place to get sushi.

The next morning we picked up Sophia for Carter's birthday party (which was at 11:00 a.m.). We where told that she had awoken at 4:30 that morning. This could not be good. This means she will be super grouchy at the party and just no fun to be around until she had her daily nap. So we took her anyway. She was pretty ant-Social most of the time. Carter had his whole family there which included a ton of older boy cousins. Sophia was too young for the crowd. She just marches to her own drummer and just didn't seem all that interested. When it came time to blow out the candles Sophia had a poo poo accident and missed it all. She tried but didn't quite make it. She was very content arranging all the baby dolls in the play house so they can "sleep"..."ssshhh shhhh mama..they sleeping" whispered Sophia. She is so amazingly cute. Of course upon our exit she had a tantrum when we left. She screamed at me as I was putting her in her car seat "Sophia not tired" and five minutes later out like a light for 3 straight hours. Mama knows best my love.

Looking Back

Here are a few images of when I was little. Do I look anything like Sophia?