Just a few from our Fl Vacation

2012 Bluebonnets

Big Girl Potty

Lets just say I am super proud of my little princess Sophia. She is less than 2.5 years old and she has just about mastered the whole potty thing. She tells us when she needs to pee and poo-poo and the accidents are very rare. I haven't had to ask her if she needs to pee. Even at night I put her in a diaper she never uses it. She has had a dry diaper for almost 2 weeks straight. Even on the weekends where she sleeps in. So I knew it was time to celebrate. My mother had given me some ladybug themed stuff for her bathroom almost 2 years ago. I been somewhat lazy and I finally decided to put it up.

Sophia was so excited. We went to Target together and found rugs, towels and a toothbrush holder. She was so excited to have a big girl bathroom to call her very own. I even got her a towel holder. We put at her level so she can reach it. I tried to convince her to go with red rugs but she was determined to get hot pink. Lets just say it's the boldest pink ever and she loves it that way. She shows everyone her restroom. Some times she has to take towels everywhere with her. I try to tell her to keep them in the bathroom. She is such a cutie pie.

Weekend in Oklahoma

This past weekend we went to Oklahoma to visit my dad, my stepmother, my Auntie Terri, my cousins Maria and Michael, my Auntie Marilyn, my cousin Ryan, Grandma and Grandpa, and little baby Ethan. While it was a brief visit we really did enjoy seeing everyone. It's very rare for me to get to visit with my cousins since they are all the way on the West Coast. It's the same for my Auntie Terri who is all the way on the East Coast. It is extremely hard to get everyone together at the same time. (not to mention a tad bit stressful)

The trip went with out a hitch. However, of course Miss Sophia got sick the night before. She did that at Thanksgiving as well. At least time it wasn't strep. Just a simple cold with a fever. We went to the minute clinic to get her ears, lungs and throat checked out just in case. The next day Tata took off so that he could keep her out of daycare in case the fever came back. It never did. Then we left Dallas around 1:00 p.m. Sophia surprised us and did well. We stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way up there. Luckily they had Tutu dresses for sale. She was so happy to get a new dress that it pretty much kept her content the entire day.

It was a great visit. Of course Sophia was in the mood to test us as like she had done all week. Only in a entirely different element. She REFUSED nap time on Saturday. We had to basically force her to rest. She was way to over stimulated. She started to have tantrum after tantrum and just would not go down. Finally about 3:00 p.m. she went down. She slept until 5. Just in time for us to go to dinner at my Grandma's house. She actually did great the rest of the night. With the exception of a time out that was necessary for hitting mama after being warned. The the next morning at breakfast she had yet another meltdown at IHop. I am not sure why on this one. I think she did it because she wanted attention or maybe it was the food. Who knows. All I know was that I was worn out by this point.

It was great seeing everyone and I really enjoyed the trip with the exception of the meltdowns. I think anything that gets Sophia off her normal routine puts her in a mood. As soon as we got home she was happy again. I do think the timeouts are increasing over all and she still continues to test us. But it so much easier to discipline at home than it is in public. Maybe it was this aspect that was stressing me out.

Testing Us Daily

Sophia has been testing us lately. A lot. I know this is normal behavior for a 2.5 year old and I am sure it will last the rest of her childhood..and maybe even adulthood. This week she seemed to branch on out to a higher level of testing.

Monday: She got really upset that her dress was not clean and ready to wear. She wore it all weekend and I washed all her other dresses but apparently not the right one. She went into hysterics. This set the pace for the entire day. She just did not comprehend that the dress was dirty and I had to wash it. Really at this point I can't do time out or anything. I need to get her happy and out the door. The tears lasted all the way to school. When Sophia arrived to daycare she was all red faced and flushed from all the crying. My little drama queen.

Tuesday: We go and pick her up like normal. We could see her running around in the little play area to the side. As soon as she gets in the car my MIL was telling me about how bad she was that day. That she disrupted the classroom most of the day and she was "wild" and would not listen. She also told her she would tell us and that TV would be off limits for the night. Sophia is going through a Cinderella stage. As soon as she heard her Baka tell me this she started screaming hysterically. I would repeat that there was no TV tonight. The screaming would begin. It was almost comical but at the same time we where serious. All the way home she asked about watching Cinderella and we would repeat..not going to happen tonight.

As soon as we arrived home she kept asking about Cinderella. We would repeat no. Then the tears start. Holy Moly did the tears start. Major tantrum that required me to put her in a timeout. (which is somewhat rare at the moment) This is the only way for me to get her to calm down. We had to repeat it twice because she kept getting up. But she did do it. Afterwards I scooped her up and we had a long talk. I told her why she was in trouble and that there would be no TV tonight. That we can read some books and play with her toys..But no TV. I did offer her 10 min of TV after bath time. This is when I usually blow dry her hair and it seemed fair. But absolutely no Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast. She finally calmed down. She did ask 100 or so times if she could watch Cinderella and we just kept telling her no. At least the tears had stopped and she realized her mama and tata where serious.

Honestly, I must admit I like this part. It doesn't bother me like it used to when she would cry. I know I can calm her and comfort her but I also know that I can teach her between right and wrong. That is my job. I am sure she will appreciate it one of these days.

Today's collage is a little of Sophia having bath time and some other misc pics. I was trying to point out her pretty hair and her organizational skills.

Yes, I love being a Mama

This first 4 months of being a mom where the hardest times of my entire life. I think the combination of dealing with mild depression and super nigh anxiety made it even worse for me. I remember screaming all the time "I will never do this again!" and feeling like the worse mother in the world because I just didn't feel that connection. All I felt was this burden and thinking to myself why would I even consider bringing a baby into my crazy world. I am going to screw this up. I am going to fail. My daughter is going to hate me for screwing her up. I also thought to myself that I would never want to do this again. Never go through a hard pregnancy, never live with a newborn, never give all of myself to a baby again.

Then one day something clicked. Day by day it became easier. My depression was getting better. My energy was increasing. It could have been the sleep deprivation was wearing off. But I had changed. I had my routine with my baby girl. While sure some days where harder than others but I actually learned to handle having her in my life. Taking care of her every need. Being the one she calls for when she is scared or hurt. I figured out how to be a mama. I LOVE every second of it. Even the tantrums and her moodiness. I am still her Mama. I am still the one she depends on. She makes me laugh everyday. Her personality is so confident. She makes me want to be a good mom to her.

Sandro told me the other day how he has watched me transition into a mother. That he is amazed that I handle her so well. This touched my heart. Had it been that obvious to him that I had changed? Could a person transform so quickly and be so different. I always thought to myself that I was a selfish person. That I sometimes forget about everyone else and just think of my wants. But maybe I am not as selfish as I thought I was.

My heart has been telling me lately that I am ready for another. Sophia is almost officially out of diapers. I am not getting any younger. I think I am ready to do the newborn stage all over again. This time I will know what to expect. This time I will gear up for those really challenging days and maybe, just maybe I will really enjoy it.

Some Styles from Miss Sophia

VDay Weekend & Carter's Birthday

Due to our crazy busy weekday schedules we wanted to celebrate the prior weekend. However, Sandro called it more a date night than a Vday Weekend celebration. He isn't really a fan of Valentine's day. Nor any other commercial holiday but he knows that I am into it and still goes along with whatever I want to do. I heard that my favorite band was coming to town. The Green. I was so excited. I heard this band for the first time when we went to HI. I now listen to their CD at least once a day. Me = Addicted It's a semi Reggae Music with a little bit of a island feel. So I got all gussied up. We dropped Sophia at my in-laws. She was spending the night because it was a late concert. We had some yummy Sushi rolls at Chaucer's. Seriously hands down out favorite place to get sushi.

The next morning we picked up Sophia for Carter's birthday party (which was at 11:00 a.m.). We where told that she had awoken at 4:30 that morning. This could not be good. This means she will be super grouchy at the party and just no fun to be around until she had her daily nap. So we took her anyway. She was pretty ant-Social most of the time. Carter had his whole family there which included a ton of older boy cousins. Sophia was too young for the crowd. She just marches to her own drummer and just didn't seem all that interested. When it came time to blow out the candles Sophia had a poo poo accident and missed it all. She tried but didn't quite make it. She was very content arranging all the baby dolls in the play house so they can "sleep"..."ssshhh shhhh mama..they sleeping" whispered Sophia. She is so amazingly cute. Of course upon our exit she had a tantrum when we left. She screamed at me as I was putting her in her car seat "Sophia not tired" and five minutes later out like a light for 3 straight hours. Mama knows best my love.

Looking Back

Here are a few images of when I was little. Do I look anything like Sophia?

Sophia's Class Photo

It's been a crazy week. Or really I have been lazy. I suppose a combination of both. I just wanted to share Sophia cute class photo. She knows all the name of every kid in her classroom. She loves all her classmates. This weekend she is going to Carter's Birthday Party. She is so excited.

Brief History of Me pt 2

So after learning that I loved computers I quickly became intrigued with learning how I could begin my career in this field. I worked for Texas Parks & Wildlife for a few summers and then I worked my senior year at Bastrop Central Appraisal District as Tax collectors assistant. This is when I learned of a business college that didn't require crazy exams or a ton of work to get in. (ESS College of Business **which is now closed) However, it was all the way in Dallas. I didn't even research my options to go somewhere locally (yes fail) but all I saw was opportunity and a way to get out of this small unforgiving town. I felt if I had stayed in Bastrop I would have been barefoot and pregnant and just generally unhappy.

As soon as graduation came, my foot was nearly out the door. I was ready to begin my life. I was ready to be on my own. Of course when I arrived this feeling only lasted a few months. The college partying days where just too irresistible. I think I finished about 3 semesters and it fizzled out and I never did get my associate degree. I did start working at Ticketmaster to make some money as a sales floor manager. It was okay but it started to get really annoying. I applied for my first real job as a contractor for Microsoft. Swoon.

I was in love. Love I tell you. I loved everything about working at Microsoft. Loved all the computers. Loved doing the call center gig. I could do it forever. But I couldn't stop partying. I gained a ton of weight during this time. Microsoft had the BEST cafeteria! Also, this was just a contract position and it had it's 12 month term that never got extended. Too bad the dream ended. I was able to find another job as a customer service rep. Mistake #548 taking a job you don't really want. It was the first and only time I was "let go." I quickly found another job at another big computer company, IBM.

Again, only (at first) pure love for this company. It was a contract position of course. But it was a long term contract that didn't end. I loved all the computers and the job. I loved talking about software support all day long. I loved my coworkers. I made friends. It was pure happiness. Then 2 years into the job I started to get depressed. (gained even more weight) I wasn't happy with myself. I learned they never hired contractors to full time. I worked my ass off for this company but they never would hire me. This is when I decided to go back to school. It was time for me get off my ass and make something of myself. I had to change my mindset. I had to try harder or I could just lead myself into absolute misery.

To be continued.....

Resolutions Check - in

Yesterday was Terrible. Yes with a capital T. Sophia decided that it was National Pee (and poop) in My Pants day. She had so many accidents. It seems she was doing it to drive me crazy. She just refused to go in the potty. Not sure why she decided it was best to pee in her pants. Sometimes I think it's my fault. We started to late and she just is so smart and realizes there is no real benefit to peeing in the potty. (Other than to be clean.) Really no benefits for her. There will be better days.

I was a little stressed lately. I need to revisit my #7 resolution more. I must be more positive. I don't have it all that bad. It's called life and I need to just move forward and onward.

Update on the Resolutions

1) Write in my blog at the minimal of 2 times a week - 7 Times in a 4 week month isn't too terrible. Lets see if I can keep it up.

2) Lose 15 pounds and maintain my already 50 pound weight loss.- Not going so well. No real weight loss yet from last month. Me = Sad Panda. I worked out every single day that I was able. Worked out 26 times & 25 miles ran ... My personal goal is to run 25 miles a month. I track this in sparkpeople. My weight has been up and down all months. Up 5 down 5.

3) Sandro returns to school to begin working on this masters. - Classes began Jan 11th.

4) To both get raises this year. - Sandro completed this already. Nearly a 12% raise over all.

5) Pay off truck and start saving for baby #2. - In Progress. Making good head way. Made our first double payment last month. Plan to start paying $500 towards the principal per month. Once the raise kicks in.

6) If we stay on plan that means we will TTC #2 by October 2012. - In Progress

7) To keep myself motivated I just have to be more positive. - In Progress

8) Run a 5k competitively. - NOT Complete

9) Embrace my girlie side. - In Progress

Brief History of Me pt 1

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my past. What made me who I am today. I often try to move forward and not dwell on the past. But sometimes I am reminded or I feel guilty for how well my life has turned out.

When I was five my mom and dad got divorced. My mother was married to a military life so she has to readjust to starting her life on her own. She moved to Bastrop, Texas with two kids in tow. It was the 80's and there was a recession. My mother found a job working for the state. Barely making minimum wage but the health insurance was really great. (oh how times have changed)

Shortly after coming to live in Texas I was diagnosed with chronic depression and severe anger issues. I also had learning disabilities. (slightly dyslexic and lazy concentration) Usually I had a tough time controlling my emotions. Often I would cry in school. From the age of 6 and up. Not sure what caused it. I was bullied for this. Made fun for being different. Made fun of for my clothes, being larger, made fun for my outbursts. I went to counseling for all of my student life up to 11th grade. They told me that I had grown out of it. However, they never once thought I was good enough for college or that I could make it in the real world. I kinda feel I was given up on. I would like to say that this broke me. But it didn't. All it did was make me more determined to reach my dreams and not be poor my whole life.

I started working when I was 14 at a local online computer book store. This was the mid 90's. This is the first time I was introduced to computers. I fell instantly in love. The geek side of me was finally blossoming.

To be continued....

Some pics from this morning...Working on my girlie new years resolution. :)

Me No make-Up

Me with Make-up

Quick Adjustments

Since Sandro has returned to going to classes twice a week we had to make some mini changes.

A) We can't carpool on M&W anymore. Bummer for me. Especially on a rainy days like today. Where my little commuter car barely stays above water. It's very low to the ground. Lets just hope that Dallas doesn't flood today!

B) We have less time for chores. We have to be quick and prioritize more when it comes to this. Which isn't always easy with a 2 year old munchkin.

C) Waking up early on the days we don't commute together. I literally have to be out the door no later than 6:30...6:25 is better. The school zones on Josey are hella bad. Plus Sandro doesn't have a carpool lane so it takes him a while.

D) I MUST leave work at 4:40 on the days I have to pick up Sophia. If I leave at 4:41 it can mean 30-40 mins delays. Luckily I have the most understanding boss in the world and since I get to work at 7 AM. I don't feel all that guilty.

E) Cooking meals is a challenge. Luckily we have a crockpot and we often use it . Sandro does 95% of the cooking so he preps two meals for the nights he has class. This helps me out tremendously.

Some Positives:

I get some much needed one on one time with Sophia. Picking her up. Watching her favorite movies with her. Talking to her about her day. All with mommy. She is very clingy with me lately. I love this time I get to be with her.

Sandro is following his dream. He wants his masters and maybe one day his Doctores. He says it will take him 5 years. I can't blame him for having a dream. I have my dreams to. So I will support him the best way I know how.

Some crockpot love...

Super easy, super healthy and Super Yummy. Who doesn't love their Crockpot?

Some didn't notice this video of Sophia singing in the car. She LOVES to sing. She loves this song and locomotion.

Master Camera Avoider

Lately Sophia has been hiding from the camera. As soon as I take it out she runs from me. Drives me bonkers. This can be very hard on person who loves photography. I hope it's just a phase.

Update on Potty training is that it's a slow process. I hear all the time how some kids pick it up right away. Not Sophia. She has some really good days and some really bad days. She is extremely smart so I am thinking she just doesn't want to potty train some days and pretty much goes on break. Then the next day she wants to potty in the toilet again. What is worse is that she HATES to go poop in the toilet. She just refuses. Sigh.

I have read the 3 day Manuel and I all I could see is all the stuff I am apparently doing wrong. But it's sorta difficult to start a new method since she is doing somewhat okay with what she is doing right now.

So here is some avoiding pictures from Missy this week. The only time I can get her to look at the camera is when we are in the car. Otherwise. It's a no go.

Sophia's First B-Day Invite

Sophia was invited to Skyler and Jacey (4 year) birthday party. It was at Chuck E Cheese. Sophia has never been. So all she wanted to do was touch things. Everything she saw she wanted to feel it. I was running around chasing her everywhere. She was one of the youngest ones there so I couldn't just let her run free in a place like that.

She was so happy. They would have some music playing and the robot Chuck E would be "performing" and Sophia, being as cute as she always is, would just be dancing. All by her self getting down. She just loved to disco dance. I think she may have scared Skyler and Jacey at first because she just would dance and dance. She loved it. She gave them the biggest hug before she left the party.

Later she told me all about her fun time at the birthday party. The pizza, Spongebob Square Pants Cake and of course the dancing. She couldn't have been more happy with the experience.

Adventures in Potty Training

Lets just begin this with I really wasn't ready to start yet. Sophia is only 2 years in a few months. I thought I had a few months. Reasons I think she may not be ready is because she just doesn't seem interested in going potty or getting out of diapers. Also, most mornings she wakes with a wet diaper. I have been told usually you want to start potty training about when they have consistent dry diapers in the AM. She hasn't done this in a while.

However, god love her, my MIL went out and bought her princess panties. At Daycare Sophia was talking to her friend Sophie and she showed Sophia her princess panties. Sophie explained to Sophia that big girls get to wear Princess Panties. Sophia was now intrigued and wanted to start. Hence the reason my MIL bought the panties.

So I began on Sunday morning. She picked her panties out and she was so excited to give it a try. I was getting ready and I had planned to die my hair that morning. I told her Tata to please ask her if she needs to go potty all the time. Which I could hear her ask her multiple times. 1st accident occurs not even 15 mins in. I was like no big deal. It wasn't that bad. But then not even 30 mins later she did it again, this time a big amount of pee pee. I was fumming mad now. I mean I was just trying to get ready for the day. I told her that if she has three accidents we would try again next weekend. So this is when I started setting the timer. Every 20-30 mins I would take Sophia to the potty and have her go. Even if she didn't need to. She needed to learn to go in the potty.

This was successful. Even through nap time she didn't pee in the diaper. So I gave her a victory ice cream. We had to run errands so I decided to put on a pull up. Because I didn't want to risk having a accident in transit. We finished our errands. So I put her back into her princess panties. Most of the afternoon went exceptionally well. Then that last hour came. We still going to the potty every thirty minutes. I had just set the time for what I thought would be the last time for that evening.

Not even 15 minutes later I hear her daddy yell she pooped her pants. I was like really? Come on we just went to the potty 15 mins ago. It was a blow out. It was everywhere. Lets just say it just made me want to give up. I asked Sophia what happened. She just gave me a blank look. Like I was the crazy one.

I really don't think she is ready yet but we will keep trying. My coworker gave me the 3 day potty training boot camp guide. I hope this helps.

Below is Sophia munching down on some of daddy's feta special grits. Uber yummy!


Enjoying her Victory Ice Cream

Little Miss Bossy

Lately Sophia has been extremely moody when it comes to getting up in the morning and going to daycare. Some days are better than others. She is okay with the whole getting ready part as soon as we get into the car she tells us that we can't take her to daycare. Or Daycare is no good. (her words) Part of me wants to laugh at this but I am not sure if I really should. As maybe this could be making matters worse and she thinks I am joking with her. I am sure it's just a phase. She had almost two weeks off during the Christmas break. Perhaps she will start liking daycare again. When she arrives at daycare she refuses to eat. She will just say no! no! and walks away or attempts to follow us out. Luckily her Baka is there and Sophia instantly starts to warm up to the idea of being there. I am told when I see her in the evening that she has a awesome great day and her moody stops when we leave.

She is very direct with her demands lately. Like during bath time she says "Mama SIT DOWN!" over and over until I do. I ask her to say please and she does. But hesitantly.

Or the other day when we going to the park she told me and Tata to stay and that we where in timeout. And not to follow her. Slowly we would creep behind her and she would come back and tell us again to stay..we are in timeout. I had to laugh at this one. She gets this look of determination like I am going to do what I want to do.

I hope I am not encouraging this behavior. I try to tell her to be nice to her Mama and Tata. To use please and thank you. But I have a feeling she got this from me. I was a bossy pants as well, so I am was told. I am pretty bossy now. I am sure she sees this and just mimicking me.

On to other things. I didn't mention the one of my personal goals I have for myself for 2012.

To embrace my girlie side. I seem to always want to say that I am a tomboy. But the reality is that I do enjoy girlie things. I like make-up, I like dressing up and I like to fix my hair. I think part of the reason that I say I am not into "being girlie" is because I don't like that I am overweight. I usually wear baggy clothes because I feel huge. I think I need to get over this. I am not huge. It's in my head. But for someone who has been overweight her entire life it's sometimes hard to look past what you once where. I want Sophia never to feel this way about herself. I want to be a good example for her.

I leave you with a cute video of Sophia showing her bossy side. Also a lovely before picture of me. Sorry for the low quality in advance. The lighting in the bathroom sucks!

New Year = Fresh Start

Well I disappeared for awhile but I thought that it may be time for me to return. I have a ton of new goals for the new year. So why not make myself more accountable and write them out.

Last year was terrific. Sophia is growing so quickly and time seems to be ticking away. Sandro and I also celebrated our 5 year anniversary. Five years of a lovely marriage. Two years which included our whole heart Miss Sophia Genelle Juric. The dogs are also doing great. Our life is generally happy. We went to Kauai for our 5 year anniversary. This is when Sandro and I discovered that we have some big goals which may include living in Kauai after Sophia (and possible future kids) are done with school. Maybe it is wishful thinking but there is something about that island we just love. All we know is that we definitively want to retire somewhere like this or just relocate.

We have a lot of goals to accomplish that require us to stay focused. This next year will be more of a development year to help us get to the point where we can grow and flourish even more years beyond now.

First things for first here is the list of personal resolutions:

1) Write in my blog at the minimal of 2 times a week - Over the last year I got lazy. Distracted with stupid stuff. I can take 30 mins out of my day twice a week. Even if it's just tell a funny Sophia story or vent about life in general.

2) Lose 15 pounds and maintain my already 50 pound weight loss. I would like to be at 165 before TTC another baby. Currently I am about 185 ish. Not terrible. Within a healthy weight range for my height but I really could do better if I just stay focused and stop eating "the junk" and continuing on with my exercise routine.

3) Sandro returns to school to begin working on this masters. He already enrolled in community college so that he can obtain more math credits so he can apply for admissions to start his masters.

4) To both get raises this year. No explanation needed on this. But it will be a requirement so we can do #5 of resolution on a more timely basis.

5) Pay off truck and start saving for baby #2. This is a big one for me. The only thing holding us back from having #2 at this point is all financial. My goal is to dump all extra money towards this truck. Current truck payment is $356 a month. Plan to put $400 a additional per month. $756 is what daycare will cost us for a second child not including Sophia. Total daycare is $1450 a month. Holy crap that is a lot. Plan to have this paid off in 15 months. (750*15 = $11,250)

6) If we stay on plan that means we will TTC #2 by October 2012. Or at least begin. Hopefully get PG before February 2013.

7) To keep myself motivated I just have to be more positive. I have learned that I am all about routine and either I need to embrace this about myself or learn to get the F over it. Being positive is essential to reaching our goals 15 years from now.

8) Run a 5k competitively. I have been running now for about 6 months. I need to find a few races and actually run one for real.

To end today I leave you with a few words from Miss Sophia.