So yesterday I was feeling really down about everything. Mainly because I feel at this stage of pregnancy if the baby doesn't make it for some reason it's entirely my fault. Well my bodies fault. So I call up my mom and cry for about 20 mins. I think just needed to get it out. While I talk to Sandro about these things sometimes I have to hear from a different perspective. For one I am sure I am driving him completely insane but because he can only see the positive and feels that I am over reacting to the negative. I think it's because we just see things differently some days. Like I see the glass half empty and he sees the glass half full. He does try hard to comfort me but my mind sometimes tend to focus on the negative.
After talking to my mom she made some valid points. One that my grandmother (My Dad's Mom) bleed throughout most of her pregnancy with my Dad. She didn't find out she was pregnant for awhile later. She also reminded me of the last time I had a m/c. My uterus was strong then and didn't want to let go of the pregnancy until I forced it by taking medication to help the cervix open up. I haven't even thought about that in a while. I know I am strong and I am healthy and I am doing all that I can. There really isn't a way to prevent what nature has in store for me. I just have to do all I can to overcome this battle and again think about having a healthy fetus in my womb. Hopefully it will stay strong and kick that clot to the curb.
On a different note sometimes I wish I could have a husband that would let me eat what I am craving. I say this with a cheeky grin. He is just so adamant about eating healthy all the time. I mention chick-fil-a and instantly I am told absolutely not. I see all these girls all the time eating McDonald's everyday and here I am stuck on eating healthy. He is relentless. Maybe I will sneak over to Taco Bell today. A once in a while indulgence can't hurt right?
1 comment:
:-))))
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